


until the good outweighs the bad

by killkissbe



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Minor Character Death, Miscarriage, Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 03:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2453930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killkissbe/pseuds/killkissbe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes she just needs to let herself grieve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	until the good outweighs the bad

**Author's Note:**

> I think Mindy gets a reputation for being shallow based on what little we see of her, sometimes, but the line of work that she finds herself in is an emotional one, and one that I think affords a lot of admiration. Just a small piece looking into those days that just aren't that funny. Days that just plain suck.

Nobody ever talks about how awful it can be in their line of work. For the most part, it’s all joy. All privilege. All about that moment when a baby opens its eyes for the first time, when its lungs release their first cry, the terror and amazement and relief that its parents feel, a point in time like no other. Immeasurable.

But they’re doctors, and humans are humans, and they die. Some of them just die much earlier than they ever should. Mindy’s grown skilled in the art of hiding her grief, professionalism and a face that is never about her own pain, only ever theirs. It isn’t about her. But god, it hurts like it is. And god, she feels like she might break apart at the seams each time she hears the deafening lack of rhythm in the midst of a sonogram. 

Silence can be so goddamn loud. They don't teach them that in medical school.

And sometimes, afterward, she wants to fill that void with words and music and ranting and raving and others she just wants to come home and let her blankets consume her, let the sad wash over her just for a little while, mourn the tiny breaths and heartbeats not meant for this world. Sometimes she just needs to let herself grieve.

And Danny, Danny’s one of the few people in the world who understands that.

It's the kind of thing he maybe should try to pry out of her when she comes home and she's still in her scrubs. When she hasn't even bothered to finger comb her hair because like it matters, like how she looks makes any difference to the broken faces she can't get out of her mind, any difference to the forms she's had to fill out that are so wrong, so wrong for the beginning of a life. The beginning and an end, all at once. It's not fair, none of it, and there are times when she can't help but resent the hell out of this job. This world.

Instead, he folds her into his arms and she just nods and that says it all, says what words and pointed looks never can. Never should. It feels a crime to speak it aloud, and yet to not pause and acknowledge the moment just as worthy of guilt. So they stay like that and he strokes her hair and every so often lifts her chin so he can see her face, so she can fake a smile and try to convince them both that she's fine.

And they both know she's not. But they also that Mindy will smile again and she'll laugh again, they both will, but sometimes, right now, they just need to let the weight of the world hold them down, hold them together, until the good outweighs the bad again.


End file.
